As a meditation teacher and facilitator, one of the comments I hear often is, “I have tried, and I wasn’t good at it” or “I can’t do it properly” or “it’s not working.” These comments are welcomed and quite common, as this was my experience of meditation when I was introduced to it and beginning my practice. The thought of sitting quietly, doing nothing, achieving nothing, does not offer much appeal to someone who is used to progressing by doing – which seems to be the human expectation.
However, what I discovered in my meditation experience is – the less I do, the more becomes available to me. The less I resist, the deeper I go. The less (or no) expectation I have on the meditation experience, the more happens.
With these insights, I realised there is no right or wrong way to do it. By simply giving myself space and time to sit, breath and be present, I am meditating.
Some of the many emotional and physical benefits of meditation are well known – lowers stress, generates empathy & kindness, improve sleep, enhance self-awareness, improve concentration, reduce impact of unwanted emotions, and develop psychological flexibility.
In my personal experience, meditation has benefited my overall mental and physical health and well-being. I make decisions that stimulate my values, doing what best serves me, eliminating internal conflict. I have a deep intimate growing relationship with myself, this encourages me to treat myself with kindness. I know that peace and calmness come from within me, so when I am challenged, I can reply on my inner resources to soften the experience. I am less inclined to judge myself and others, for that matter.
Meditation services the bigger picture in my life – me!
So, if you are looking to begin a practice, here are some helpful tips.
DO NOT COMPARE TO OTHERS This is and will be your own practice. It is an intimate moment of self-connection and discovery. There is no room or reason for comparison to someone else’s experience. While sharing the benefits with others is a wonderful way of connecting, the individual experience can be sacred and quite special. Meditation is about your experience and no one else’s.
NO EXPECTATIONS Approach your practice without any expectation on yourself or on the idea of what it should be. With this approach you become available to the experience, and this is where insights and surprising discoveries arise. Approaching meditation with a ‘beginners mind’ provides endless opportunities for growth, wisdom, and peace.
START SMALL Ease yourself into the practice by starting off with short meditations. A practice of 1-5 minutes a day can offer so much, and you will find yourself wanting to extend this time of calmness and peace. Consistency is the key to developing a practice.
IT DOESN’T NEED TO BE SERIOUS There is room to be playful and fun. Meditation can be approached with a smile, a sense of lightness and curiosity. This can remove any of the ‘performance pressure’ and expectations of the practice. You may even notice how this open, receptive, curious attitude can reflect a feeling of ease in your body.
EXPLORE DIFFERENT VOICES AND TECHNIQUES. There are so many avenues and platforms to explore guided meditations. Some voices and styles will resonate with you, while others won’t, and that is just fine. You can find so many meditations on You tube, Spotify, insight timer, apps such as Waking Up (a favourite of mine) just to name a few.
DEVELOP A RITUAL Set up a special space for your practice. Have it in a quiet place of the house where you won’t be disturbed. Gather your comfy cushions, blankets, perhaps even a reclining chair, a mat, light a candle, make this space inviting and exclusive to you. I find burning incense, Sage, Palo Santo helpful to create a peaceful, sacred environment for meditation.
BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF Meditation is not about perfection and judgement. Allow self-critical thoughts and judgement to be greeted with acceptance, self-compassion, and self-kindness. It is not a competition or a test to pass, it is simply treating yourself to the gift of stillness and peace. There is no problem to solve in meditation.
Meditation and mindfulness are cores pillars of the therapy style that I practice at Mindful Health Counselling. It is an effective holistic approach to addressing depression, anxiety, anger, relationship conflict, stress, and any other presenting mental health concern. It is used to practice being present, exploring emotions, learning self-acceptance, establishing values and to cope with unwanted feelings/thoughts when they arise.
These skills/techniques are practiced and taught in session at Mindful Health Counselling and can be implemented at any time.
Anthony Grace
